On animal sacrifice

There are a lot of rumours about my faith. The number one story goes that we modern Satanists drink goats' blood and sacrifice animals during our rituals. I cannot speak for the traditional or theistic Satanists, but I can at least tell you that, talking about modern Satanism, that is a ridiculous myth if I ever saw one. Let me tell you about my own relationship with animals.

I grew up in a rural area of northwestern Germany. Opposite to our house, there was a small farm. Not a farm like those you have in the US, but a small, really old property, some of the houses so old it was a wonder the roof hadn't crashed onto the ground yet, and the stable separated from the farmhouse only by the kitchen door. There were two horses, a huge german dog, hens, a goose (Appolonia - I remember her, an evil- eyed little devil using every opportunity to bite people), half a dozen pigs and a rather big back yard with fruit trees, strawberries, vegetables and a small potatoe field. This farmer still did things the old way, every morning he put his horses in front of the cart to go to his fields. Sometimes, he allowed me to go with him. The farm was my playground, of sorts, and I was there every day. This gave me a deep respect and love for animals and every form of life. During this time we also bred canary birds. Later we moved to Norway. I had to sell the birds and say goodbye to the farm, but when we had settled in, my mother went and bought us another bird. This disappeared after a while, I cannot remember why, and for a long time there were no animals in our apartment. My mother married, and I suddenly found myself with a host of step- sisters. One of these bought a persian cat for herself. We loved it, and she decided to buy the brother of her own cat and give it to us as a present. I remember little baby Rafael, a little, white thing staring at me from under the living room table, looking rather confused and frightened. No wonder - a plane trip isn't your ordinary stroll to the park around the corner for a small kitten hardly 6 weeks old. Rafael is now six years old, and I know I couldn't live in this house without him. Actually, my mother got so into cats that she started breeding them. At times, we could have twelve cats in the house, adults and kittens. I have seen them become born, grow, and die. I love all animals with all my heart, and would never considering harming one, if not in self- defense. I am a vegetarian, and haven't eaten meat for two years, it might even be longer.

Now that you know that, I ask you: why the ruddy heck should I let a goat or any other lifeform suffer for the sake of my own religious practises? They haven't done anything to deserve that, neither have I the right to use violence upon any other creature that does not consent with it or provoke me in such a way that it would be justified. Actually, a living being is more useful to me when it is alive, rather than dead and unmoving. If you have ever held the limp and stiffening body of your beloved pet, in my case a wonderful white exotic (shorthaired) persian named Scarlett, and still remember it moving about just some hours ago, you know how I felt about it. I'd rather she'd still been alive than somewhere deep in the soil. The Satanic Bible explicitly states that you should harm no non- human animal, except in self- defence or for food or clothing.

Personally, I can't bear the thought of eating an ox cadaver, calling it "a delicious beef" or the body of some unfortunate chicken bred for that purpose only. Just the thought makes me cringe, nauseaously. I won't try to convert all the carnivores out there, you've got the right to indulge in whatever you desire for your diet, but - since man is just another animal - would you consider eating your recently deceased grandmother, who, per definition is also an animal, like you would eat recently deceased lamb or fish?

Anyway, I am digressing. In modern Satanism, animal sacrifice does not happen. Of course, there will always be dabblers who don't really understand what it is all about, or sick people, which can be found in any layer of society, but these are the exception rather than the norm. If you'd bother to read the basic set of rules and guidelines that Satanists live after, you'd see the ridicule of it all. You can find those floating around a lot of places on the Internet, but they're also in the Satanic Bible. Read for yourself, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Ignorance is certainly not bliss.

Yours sincerely,
~Selene

"Why aren't you a member of the CoS?"

This is a question I get asked a lot, and now I feel it is time to state my opinions on this matter.

What first held me off was the fee you have to pay to become a member. I'd not pay any religious organization anything because it is demanded of me. Rather, I'm one of those who carefully considers whom I want to support and donate to. The Church of Satan seems to me like a big money machine, and, this will probably draw flamers over here, a fraud. Here's the Satanic Bible saying you don't have to join anything to become a Satanist, and these CoS people suddenly decide that if you're not a member of their organization you're not a Satanist at all, but a "bloody poseur" as somebody labeled me online without even getting to know me first. Then, they don't even keep to their own Bunco Sheet which labels other Satanic organizations as nothing better than angry christians or teens or something, and actually claim copyright for something (the baphomet) which is clearly public domain and used long before LaVey was persuaded by someone whose name I can't remember at the moment to turn his occult home studies group into a "Church of Satan". He didn't even found it the date he claimed to have. And, from what his family tells, the guy was a woman- beater, a charlatan and in general a bloody nuisance. Of course, I do not claim to know him, only drawing from my sources here, which are available online under "CoS analysis" (pdf eBook) and "LaVey: Legend and Reality". Go ahead, read for yourself.

What's struck me as ironic the last few weeks, thinking about the CoS, is that although they tell people that herd conformity and stupidity is a big no- no, they actually cultivate their own herd of - not sheep - goats. These people try to be so different from what the rest of society is, but still stick together like a frightened, but overly proud and "alien elite" flock of people who won't think for themselves (or perhaps are frightened to do so because that'd risk them being thrown out of their church?) The articles you find on the site of the Church of Satan are full of hate towards anyone not like themselves, even other Satanists, ignorance towards other belief systems (very much in accord to LaVey's own ignorance of the Eastern religions), arrogance and a general feel that tells me that this is sick, and nothing for me. I do not want to become a member of an organization that demands information about myself like what my sexual preferences are and other intimate questions, and I do not like organizations that lie their members in the face without even blinking, using their time instead to manipulate and confuse the masses. No, thank you.

Yes, I am rather sure there is much about the Church of Satan that I myself am ignorant of. I do not claim to know all about everything. And this is mainly just a personal text that states why I think the CoS is sickening. Most probably, this will be the most flamed blog entry ever written, but I could not care less. I claim no affiliations with the CoS, and do not want them, either!

Sincerely yours,
~Selene

Heaven and Hell

Once upon a time, a man with a certain military bearing approached the Zen master Hakuin and asked: "Master, do Heaven and Hell actually exist?"

The master wanted to answer in the affirmative, but knew that this would give the man a false impression. In all likelihood the man operated under the mundane paradigm that Heaven and Hell exist as places for souls in the afterlife. The master knew what he must do to break through that false preconception.

"What is your occupation?" He asked.

"I'm a general." This explained the military bearing about him.

The master burst out laughing. "What idiot would ask you to command an army? You look more like a butcher to me!"

This enraged the general. With a roar he drew his sword. He could cut down this defenseless old man in an instant.

"Here lie the gates of Hell," said the master. These simple words stopped the powerful general dead in his tracks.

Realization flooded in. The general sudden understood that the master had risked his life in order to teach him a great truth in the most effective way imaginable.

"Forgive me, master, for what I was able to do." He felt all at once gratitude, amazement, and shame.

"Here lie the gates of Heaven," said the master.

(source: Taoism.net)

I am often asked if I ain't scared I will end up in Hell when talking to certain kinds of right- hand- pathers. I tell them I do not believe in Hell. I don't even believe in Heaven. Not in their sense. The story I have quoted above explains quite a lot. You might be startled to find a Taoist story in the blog of a Satanist. The reason for this is simply that I also have explored other paths openly, and for some time I did indeed believe I was a Taoist. I am not. But Taoism introduced me to the left- hand path, for which I am eternally grateful. And I still continue to draw on the knowledge I obtained the time I was there and talking to those who considered themselves Taoists. I still keep in touch with one of them, and when we talk, I always enjoy sharing his worldview.

There is no Heaven and no Hell. There is no afterlife, and no reincarnation. It isn't even sure there will be a tomorrow. How do you know that you are not going to die today? That leaves us only with the present, the here and now. You can make your present Hell or you can make it Heaven. This is what the concept is all about! You must do what you want with your life now. You have to do it now, and you have to do it yourself. There is not such a thing as Heaven or Hell, because they're one, and they're both in you. Everyone has a light side and a dark side. If you will allow these to join forces, I guarantee that you will see a world with possibilities you've never dreamed of before. It is the beauty of the dark night sky on a lonely hilltop where you can see the whole Milky Way. It is the beauty of seeing the sky turn grey as a few stars still linger just over the horizon, or a colourful sunset. Do you dare seeking for it in yourself? Few do.

Yours sincerely,
~Selene

The "S" word

It is sometimes strange how long and hard some people will defend themselves against something as simple as a word. For a long time, I was lead to think that diverse "F", "C", "D" etc words were the worst you could ever utter in from of someone. Later, as I began studying Satanism, I started recieving hate mails, some of my Christian friends shunned me, and only because I had no hesitations when I talked about what I was reading (what they saw me reading). They were highly disturbed when I told them some time later that I considered myself a Satanist. I have never dared telling my relatives and close family what I am. It is not that I am ashamed - on the contrary! - it is my love for them that keeps me from it. And until this day, it has not been necessary. It hurt them enough, when I refused going to catholic masses with them.

But why is it, that once one affiliates him/ herself with such a religion as Satanism, that everyone suddenly tells you that they don't know you anymore, that they are... afraid of you and your beliefs? Does a person become different if, say, (s)he starts going to a new café or starts talking to the people that person has always kept away from? No, not really, even if it might seem so. A satanist is no more different than, say, a Taoist or a Wiccan - it might sound a little exotic, somewhat sinister, but that does not mean there will be any enormous personality changes going on. You don't become a bum or a suicidal if you start reading the Satanic Bible, neither will you suddenly start dressing strangely or start burning churches, tormenting people and animals or otherwise show criminal behaviour. All these things are, in fact, looked down upon by real, committed Satanists. Those people who have done such things, are not really Satanists, they are criminals and most probably, persons with very serious mental issues, and should be treated thereafter.

The only thing that really keeps these myths alive, is that people are ignorant. They have not been taught what is truth and what is fiction. In my country, every school has to have religions classes that everyone attends, from year 1 to 10, and after that things differ slightly from what direction you choose. And these seem to work. The only downside with it, is that everything is seen from a Christian perspective, there is never an objective view in the class material and books. I believe in education and fruitful discussion with people who are involved with a certain religion or movement. How else can someone find out what a group of people really believes if you won't talk with them? We will never come any way if we continue digging trenches and shoot at each other - talk is the only solution! There will always be those shallowminded persons who hide behind a netname and tell the "Heathens" that they will rot in Hell. Let's ignore them. Let the intelligent people who are courageous enough to expand their vistas come together and talk things over in a civilized and mature manner.

I would never attack a person of a different faith than myself, in fact, I would never attack anybody, because I believe in responsibility for the responsible. If someone threatens me or my beloved ones, I would strike hard and brutally, but only after making sure there is no other way. Do Satanists perhaps have a higher sense of morals and ethics than the common follower of Christ? Sometimes it certainly seems like it...

Sincerely yours,
~Selene

Statement of Intention and other Mumbo Jumbo

I have created this site for my own purposes. I believe it will help me in my quest for personal development and evolution. I do not in any way claim affiliance with the Church of Satan, and would never do so, seeing what a money machine and close- minded organisation it has become. I am a member of the First Church of Satan, but do not consider my writings authorative in any way. As earlier mentioned, these are the musings of a private person, and remains just that - my own opinions, which I put online as much to put my own thoughts in order as to serve as something that might inspire others.

My views might be somewhat unusual, perhaps even controversial, and if you cannot accept and respect that, I ask you to leave, and be a close- minded sheep elsewhere. I have heard enough of extremist christians and others who tell me to turn from the "Devil" and find "Jesus" that it is starting to bore me. Don't bother, you're just going to make me laugh and look stupid on the Internet in front of quite a lot of people.

Other than that,
may your soul be illuminated and caressed by the gentle flames of Hell!

Yours sincerely,
~Selene